After watching David Fincher's under rated blockbuster smash "Fight Club" for the one hundred eleventh time this month local coward Bruce Manning was confident his fighting abilities were up to par with that of a drunken 1930s Irish boxer.

"I am Jack's ability to kick some serious ass. I can't wait the next time that blind guy at the train station unknowingly budges me, or the when that bitch of a pregnant woman makes me give up my seat. I'm like a 'Subway' of fury, but instead of offering health conscience cuisine at a reasonable price I hand out Knuckle Sandwiches under 6 grams of fat!" He obnoxiously stated as he stared down the mentally retarded boy in his building lobby. Though "Fight Club" was about mans absolute saturation of the inner spirit and his decadence into a hellish ego based jungle for consumerist and lifestyle addicts Bruce Manning somehow was able to look past that and instead turn it into an instructional video.

"When the streets are a jungle there can only be one king" he said in a pathetic attempt to deepen his Mickey Mouse like voice. When asked what he would do if he lost a bout despite his numerous viewings of the Chuck Palahnik novel brought to the big screen "Fight Club" he quickly responded with "Then I guess I would have to grab my mom's Hollywood Video membership card and enroll myself in Jean Claude Van Damme 101, Hiya!"